Pistons-Celtics Diary

About five minutes until ESPN's coverage of the NBA game between the Detroit Pistons and the Greatest Team Ever Made (comment oozing with sarcasm. Or the 20-2 upstart Boston Celtics, who I'm sure you don't need me to talk about their success because it's been shoved down our throats all year). The 17-7 Pistons have the credentials of the best starting five in the basketball, five straight years to the Eastern Conference Finals, two NBA Finals berths, and a title from 2004. The Celtics have the Big Three (Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, and Kevin Garnett). The two best records in the Eastern Conference and two coaches with checkered postseason resumes in Flip Saunders and Doc Rivers. Boston hasn't lost at home but hasn't beaten anyone of note. Pistons have played more road games than at the Palace. My prediction. Pistons squeak by 96-92.

7:00 PM-Boston coach (I'll use that term loosely) Doc Rivers is Mic'd Up! Guess we get the FCC friendly look on the Celtics bench. Look out now. I'll start the conspiracy theory now for Pistons fans. WE GET NO RESPECT!

7:03 PM-I feel somewhat saddened that I'll only get to hear Bill Walton blabber incoherently during pregame and halftime.

7:07 PM-*sigh* The Game of the Century still has not started yet and the graphic of Dallas vs. Phoenix says the game starts at 9:30. Are we eliminating TV timeouts or just totally disregarding schedule?

7:10-Commercial of the Big Three watching Hoosiers while no one in particular drives ESPN's bus. Meanwhile Jeff Van Gundy shows the perplexed look that wore out his welcome in Houston.

7:12-Note: I tend to get a TAD carried away when watching games and therefore my logic may be gone by the 2nd quarter. I'll try with all my power not to take it out on my laptop. Starters are announced. Of note, Ray Allen is returning from an ankle injury (the same one that ended his season in Seattle last year). Keep an eye on his effectiveness throughout. Still waiting for tipoff while Dan Shulman, Hubie Brown, and Jon Barry ramble.

7:16-McDyess jumper good! 2-0 Pistons! It's all over now Beantown!...and then a Rasheed Wallace foul on KG. Free throws good 2-2. Maybe I spoke too soon.

7:19-First shot of Flip Saunders, obligatory announcers defending his record despite postseason flops with a veteran team. Trading baskets early, 7-7.

7:22-Rajon Rondo has developed better than anyone could've expected. Making a ton of shots. 8 points already. 15-11 Boston.

7:25-First panic timeout taken by Flip Saunders (wouldn't he be a much more respected coach if he would just go by Philip or Phil Saunders? Worked well enough for Phil Jackson.). Of all the things the Pistons game planned for, I'm pretty sure Rajon Rondo scoring 10 first quarter points (averaging 9 PER GAME) wasn't one of them. Um, Chauncey? Little defense please?

7:28-Kendrick Perkins trips over his own two feet, Pistons score at the other end. He's this team's Ben Wallace. 17-16 Greatest Team Ever Made.

7:30-Paul Pierce fouled. Hubie calls him Chauncey. Nice...

7:31-Bad Sheed is in the building. 0-4 from the floor. Jump shooting Pistons keep missing jump shots. Meanwhile, Tayshaun is taking the turn of being abused by Paul Pierce. His second foul (cue Jarvis Hayes). Pistons have 4 fouls, Boston 0. Jump shooting teams don't take free throws. 21-16 Celtics. Commercial time. COLLEGE BOWL MANIA STARTS TOMORROW! 31 ARBITRARY GAMES AND ONE MORE THAT DECIDES THE NATIONAL CHAMPION! STARTING WITH THE PRESTIGIOUS SAN DIEGO CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA BOWL! (I take the Utes. Those picks will come tomorrow)

7:36-On cue, Rip finally draws a foul. Pistons take their first free throws 10 minutes in. Rip makes both. 24-18 Celtics.

7:38-Kendrick Perkins shot puts two free throws, one miraculously finds the net. Big Baby Glen Davis comes in for the greatest team ever. Mr. Energy Jason Maxiell spells a cold Rasheed for Detroit.

7:43-Late three by Rip (third of the quarter), Boston can't convert at the other end. 29-25 Celtics after one quarter. After drawing no fouls and shooting 0 free throws in the first 10 minutes (falling behind by 8), Pistons took 5 trips to the line in the last 2 minutes and are down 4. Pistons are allowing 57% from the field, their best perimeter defender is in foul trouble, and Boston has doubled them in rebounds 10-5 (Boston has also boarded 4 of their 9 misses). All that and it's a four point game.

7:46-Start of the 2nd quarter, sideline reporter Doris Burke talking to Flip Saunders. "Coach, you guys couldn't guard a freshman team so far, what's wrong?" "Well, we're settling for jump shots and lucky to be in this game right now." "Thanks coach, back to you Dan." (Note: I MAY have made that exchange up)

7:48-Ray Allen is 5-5 so far. Pistons miss another jumper. 32-25 Boston.

7:50-*pounds desk in anger*. Lindsay Hunter should be the captain of the All-I Should Never Be Allowed to Shoot Unless the Shot Clock is Going to Expire Team.

7:52-The Big Three are EVERYWHERE! Sportscenter commercial that I've never seen before. Scott Van Pelt names them the Boston Three Party. I actually chuckled.

7:55-FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Out of control drive by aforementioned Lindsay Hunter leads to a turnover.

7:57-Note to Flip Saunders, anyone guarding Kevin Garnett should NOT be used in a trap. 38-31 Boston.

7:58-Rookie Arron Afflalo (a jump shooter who can't create his own shot on a team of jump shooters who can't create their own shot), gets blocked out of bounds. Media timeout. *flipping to Red Wings* 2-0 Detroit. Hooray Wings! That'll cheer me up for now!

8:01-Out of break with shot of a cute Asian woman. As a good friend of mine exclaimed about television camera rules. Hot chicks and cute kids. I approve. Rasheed Wallace has a jump shot! Pistons within 4 at 38-34!.

8:02-Anyone want to guard KG? 40-34 Celtics.

8:04-Kendrick Perkins hands are harder than The Statue of Liberty. Out of bounds, Pistons ball.

8:05-3 for Mr. Big Shot! 40-39!

8:06-Back to back Boston buckets. 44-39 Greatest Team Ever Made. They have an answer for everything the Pistons do. Under three minutes. Let's see how the veteran Pistons who've played together forever close this half.

8:10-Chauncey misses a big shot. Ball out of bounds off Boston, Celtics complain. Doc Rivers called for an unnecessary technical. I love this game.

8:11-Careless Sheed turnover, he's playing like garbage. Back to back fast break Boston buckets. Celtics up 10 with a free throw coming for Rondo. So much for the veteran team staying calm on the road (Rondo misses).

8:14-*pounds desk* Less than a second differential between shot and game clock in the 1st half, Pistons ball down 7 and Jarvis Hayes takes an early 3 when he could've driven for a layup or contact? Stupid basketball. Boston ball, timeout, 9.5 seconds left. Luckily Doc Rivers drew up the dribble out the clock and make a pass with 2 seconds left play and Boston didn't get a shot. Halftime: Greatest Team Ever Made 52, Detroit 45. Pistons are down seven despite Boston shooting 62.2% to Detroit's 38.5%. Thankfully Detroit is +15 beyond the ark and +4 at the line. Oh my god! Hubie Brown is affecting my dialogue! Time to grab a drink.

8:35-After a much needed beer, Wings are tied at home to the worst team in the NHL? Pretty sure Dom allowed a softy. Back to game action. 2nd half time!

8:36-Careless TO by Tayshaun, wide open jumper by KG good. Anybody want to guard him?

8:38-Another careless TO by Tayshaun, followed by a KG travel (they still call those in the NBA?)

8:40-Hand in KG's face=KG miss. Might want to remember that Flip.

8:41-Graphic of the two UConn alums Rip Hamilton and Ray Allen both playing outstanding.

8:42-Great Rondo pass to Perkins. Even he couldn't screw up that dish. Sheed hits a three at the other end. 56-51 Boston.

8:43-Lackadaisical play by Tayshaun on a Chauncey pass. Chauncey will get the TO, it was Tay's fault.

8:44-Chauncey hits a 3! 56-54 Boston. How are the Pistons still in this game!?

8:46-Back to the game, cut to Mr. Most Clutch Player EVER (more sarcasm) David Ortiz of the World Series Champion Boston Red Sox.

8:48-Pistons keep missing shots with a chance to tie. Now KG hits a jumper in the lane. 58-54 Boston. David Ortiz destroyed the Pistons momentum!

8:50-Chauncey fouled shooting a 3! Never foul a jump shooter. Especially from behind. Young mistake from Rajon Rondo. Chauncey makes them all. 60-59 Boston. *flip to Wings CLEARY SCORES 4-2 DETROIT* Things are looking up.

8:56-Following an out of control miss by Sheed, Tayshaun gives baseline to Paul Pierce (NEVER EVER GIVE UP BASELINE), Sheed rotates late, Pierce scores and one, Pierce misses, Garnett gets the miss from McDyess and is fouled. What a lackluster play by McDyess. Sheed has 4 fouls. Garnett to the line and splits. 63-59 Boston. (pausing for breath)

8:59-Thanks for showing up Tayshaun. First bucket of the game. 63-61 Boston. Pierce travels (two in one game?). Doc Rivers argues, Pistons have the ball and a chance to tie. Lindsay Hunter in the game. Gotta love 4 on 5 basketball.

9:01-Dyess wins jump ball to Ray Allen, wrong team. Follows by taking stupid foul on Allen in a bad position. He's money from the line. Celtics up 4 with 35 seconds left in the 3rd.

9:02-Boston can't convert at the buzzer. 65-61 Boston after 3. Stats time again! Celtics outshooting the Pistons 51.9% to 38.5%. Yet it's only a 4 point game at home. These kind of games are scary if you're the team leading. Let's see if the Pistons bench can outplay Boston's to start the 4th. Outlook fairly bleak since Lindsay Hunter is getting important minutes.

9:06-Flip is also wired, FCC friendly like pep talk to his team. Let's fire up and hit those open jumpers we've missed. Okay coach, we'll try. Pistons open in zone, Pierce hits a jumper. 67-61 Greatest Team Ever Made.

9:07-Lindsay Hunter hit a pull-up jumper! I may need another beer after that.

9:08-Kendrick Perkins shot puts two more free throws. Both miss pathetically.

9:09-Great steal Lindsay. Rip clear to the basket. WHY DID YOU PASS BACK!?!? Out of bounds. Boston leads by 2. Pistons miss and Boston keeps the lead. Go strong Rip!

9:10-LINDSAY FOR 3! PISTONS LEAD 68-67! STEAL, RIP JAM! 70-67! Now I DO need another drink.

9:12-Cracking open another beer. Reasons two fold. Lindsay making two jump shots in a row and I got my Christmas shopping done today. 6 days BEFORE Christmas. And women think we guys wait until the last minute.

9:13-Garnett goes to the basket strong out of a timeout, draws a foul, hits both freebies. 70-69 Pistons leading the Greatest Team Ever Made.

9:16-Sequence of offensive rebounds by the Pistons, no bucket. 72-71 Pistons still lead.

9:17-Awful pass by Rondo goes out of bounds. Pistons ball. Rondo fouls Chauncey on a jumper, that's 5 on Rondo. 2nd time Rondo has fouled a jump shooter.

9:18-Celtics get called for a moving screen, I'm pretty sure Rasheed Wallace said "IT'S ABOUT F@&&ING TIME!"

9:19-A low post deuce! Pistons by 5! Pierce misses, CHAUNCEY ALL ALONE! Timeout clueless Doc Rivers! 78-71 Pistons! Could the Pistons actually pull this out? *knocks on wooden desk*

9:23-Following commercial and timeout, let's see what genius play Doc Rivers drew up...down screen for Ray Allen to drive for a nice dunk. Touche Doc. 78-73 Detroit.

9:24-Mr. Energy Jason Maxiell to the line (65% foul shooter), splits. 6 point Detroit lead.

9:26-Sheed just picked up his 5th foul. KG to the line, hits both. 78-75 Pistons.

9:27-After answering at the other end, Allen hits a RIDICULOUS three to counter (only Boston's second 3-pointer made). 81-78 Detroit.

9:29-Big shot made by Mr. Big Shot. Pistons back up 6 85-79, 3 and change left.

9:31-Huge block by Sheed (playing with 5 fouls). Bad turnover Detroit, Celtics ball. Timeout Boston. 1:42 left, Pistons by 6 85-79.

9:35-Out of a timeout, the ball ends up in Perkins hands? Boston doesn't score, Pistons by 6.

9:36-Pistons go for naught, Eddie House hits a 3. 85-82, under a minute left Detroit leading with the ball. We got us a finish.

9:37-Pistons go empty. Allen hits a contested 3 with 18.9 left. Tie game at 85. Timeout Pistons. Let's see what Flip calls. He's renowned for great plays out of timeouts. Pistons get the last shot if they're smart.

9:38-Doc brings Tony Allen cold off the bench to guard Chauncey? Interesting move...

9:39-Chauncey turns it over with 5 seconds left! Are you serious!? Talk about awful time and score management this past minute. Boston gets the last shot now with enough time to run a quick play. *flip to Wings to cheer me up for impending doom, 5-2 Wings in the 3rd*

9:40-We're 10 minutes past start time of Mavs/Suns. Pierce misses. Sheed board. Timeout with 1.7 seconds left. Anybody want to make a play?

9:42-CHAUNCEY FOULED WITH 0.1 SECONDS LEFT! JUST ONE FREE THROW WINS IT FOR THE PISTONS! That was Tony Allen cold off the bench to defend Chauncey. Billups makes both. PISTONS WIN! Final score. Detroit 87 Greatest Team Ever Made 85.

I shall now add Doc Rivers to my Christmas Card list for completely ignoring the one player Detroit couldn't guard (Kevin Garnett) in the 4th, calling their last key possession for the one member of the Big Three who wasn't on his game (Paul Pierce), and calling on a cold Tony Allen to guard Mr. Big Shot in crunch time. Merry Christmas Doc and goodnight.